At some point in life we’d question our purpose and value in, if not to, society. Taking responsibility for one’s life is a lifelong goal. Finding the harmony between what one desires and one ought to do isn’t always a straightforward peaceful exercise.

If it were easy to earn an income from doing work one enjoys, everyone’s life would be blissful. Circumstances of our lives sometimes goad us into making decisions and choices we would naturally not make.

Tools are available to help us resolve conflicting experiences and circumstances in making such choices. By Nimroth Gwetsa, 27 July 2017.

“The grass is greener on the other side” and “Someone on the other side is having it nice and easy.” These are some half-truths we like telling ourselves to ease the pain from our underachievement. Few of us pay attention to the fact that the green of the grass on other side and the ease of life other person seems to be enjoying are owing to enormous loads of manure carried to fertilise the ground, and many sleepless nights and anxieties endured over a long time to achieve what we now admire of them. We tend to see the outcome and not the process and difficulties it took to achieve success.

 I’m no expert on life or an inventor of tools that can help us cope with difficulties of life. But I have seen, in my limited adult life thus far lived, coupled with knowledge acquired and the benefit of hindsight, that what often works and can help us succeed is receiving unmerited favour, changing attitudes and exerting personal effort.

 The tools are borrowed from ancient spiritual writings and I have adapted them to our current digitised environment. I bear testimony to the importance and efficacy of these tools.

 The tools are about one primary important factor supported by seven others. We need to consider them to confidently know if we are pursuing the right career or business.

 These are:

 LOVE

 “What’s love got to do with it?” as asked by Tina Turner in her fifth solo hit album song, you too could be wondering the same. I can confirm that it is everything! Love is a show-stopper.

 If you cannot love what you are doing, you are wasting your time and everyone else’s. You are simply dying slowly or increasingly becoming an irritant to others.

 To fully appreciate the importance of love, we need to rephrase this question not negatively as in “if you cannot love”, but positively, though from the perspective of the antithesis of love.

 I am aware that using the word “Love” in this context may be too extreme for some. Milder synonyms such as “Like” and “Fondness”, for example, are on the same side of the scale as the word “Love”. Love collectively represents all such milder synonyms. That said, you are in a better space if you can still use synonyms and not the word “Love” because if you have some liking for your profession, yours then will be to find ways of improving the situation so you can move from liking to loving your job. One way would be to invest in your development.

 Examples include upskilling yourself, improving your relations with others, spending more time meditating on problems and solutions you are working on, and maintaining a good attitude and outlook on life.

 The opposite of love is hate. You will never be happy at work if you hate your profession. Expect a life filled with incessant depression, sickness, hurt and innumerable accidents if you continue doing a job you hate. Then, it would be best you resign and consider pursuing a career you can love. No tool is available to help you overcome hatred of your job.

 “Love is still the answer” so says Trijntje Oosterhuis. I agree with her.

 Love in this case not being about a feeling, but a decision one makes having considered what is at stake; outcomes one can achieve and people impacted by one’s professional contribution.

 CONTENTMENT

Overcoming the love hurdle means you have decided to continue pursuing your career in your chosen professional area, and not based on a momentous feeling, but a well-thought through decision meditated upon over time.

 In that regard, you would have to be content with your decision, having no doubts. Contentment requires taking responsibility for your life and avoiding spontaneous opinions of others. You are accountable for your life unless you are a minor. Even then, good guardians do allow minors some discretion.

 Contentment is not about happiness. Happiness is a feeling, whereas contentment is about one’s resolve and conviction. Contentment stems from one’s settled state of mind about the decision one made despite one’s experiences and circumstances. It often sees the unseen and invokes gladness about the correctness of the decision made.

 That kind of contentment causes firmness that sets the beginning of a legendary path many greats like Madiba and others before traversed.

 PEACEFULNESS

Double-mindedness is unhelpful. It causes restlessness and shows one’s discontentment with one’s decision.

 You will know you made the right decision when you are filled with a great sense of peace afterwards. Others around you may be receiving accolades for their decisions and you may be wondering if you too will ever achieve anything. But contentment of having made the right decision will give you peace needed to focus on overcoming hurdles to achieving your goals.

 ENDURANCE

Endurance is the patience needed to bear with setbacks, adversity and difficulties intent on causing discouragement or injury. Seeing such events as assaults against our efforts to achievement of set goals is important to withstanding negativity.

 Enduring hardships from decisions you are not content and at peace with is unwise. Giving up would be the best decision under such circumstances. For all others, standing firm is imperative and difficulties will pass.

 COMPASSION

If you do not love people, you may as well give up on trying to achieve sustainable success.

 Whatever we do is ultimately aimed at serving people. We cannot sustain earnings unless we attract people to “buy” from us.

 Learning to be kind and generous to people improves earning potential and capacity, and can increase one’s love for one’s profession.

 We cannot learn from anyone we resent. Our development and progression is dependent on our relationships. We should better start learning to appreciate people from diverse backgrounds to improve our prospects of success.

 One will experience adversity even if one does not want to focus on people. The adversity will be caused by others. Running away or being confrontational will not always be the answer. If being at peace is one’s goal, then kindness and generosity to others is the prerequisite.

 TRUSTWORTHINESS

You will not enjoy your career if you are unreliable and cannot be trusted. You will also not endure any hardship if you are unreliable.

 Likewise, you cannot be reliable if you lack endurance.

 Measure your faithfulness by how much you remain firmly on course despite experiencing hardships from your decisions.

 We now enjoy the sociopolitical freedoms because of the faithfulness of those who endured torture and hardships experienced in pursuit of their firm beliefs and decisions. We have no excuse but good examples of what we can achieve from remaining faithful.

 TEACHABILITY

Haughty people are not teachable. They suffer from a superiority complex. They put emphasis on their dues and are unconcerned about the welfare of others. They are rough, easily provoked and listening isn’t one of their strengths.

 Humility is essential and I’m not referring to timidity. While the world appreciates assertive people, there is a fine line between assertiveness and arrogance.

 Assertiveness that promotes preeminence may hamper one’s teachability. Rather than promote assertiveness common in the corporate world, I’d rather advocate for humility that comes with firmness. The latter achieves better results than pure assertiveness.

 One can be humble to enable one to be corrected, and firm to ensure one is not ignored.

 PERSONAL MASTERY

 Ill-discipline is undoubtedly undesirable.

 Self-discipline can be seen from two perspectives: one from self-restraint and denial but resulting in the benefit of the outcome accruing to oneself; and another where self-restraint and denial resulting in the benefit mainly accruing to others. The former is for self-preservation and latter selflessness producing greater good for humanity.

 We may sometimes find ourselves in a situation where endurance would come at a great personal cost to us. The good that will accrue to society for having done so will be immeasurable. Many activists made similar sacrifices and our world is a better place to live in.

 Your career may also require foregoing some personal benefits in pursuit of greater good for the welfare of others. Yours will then be a career choice of legends and transformers and not conformers. Such people are rare to find but always available among the living.

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 Only you know if you are pursuing the right career. No one is qualified to decide for you. We can only reassuringly help you by asking questions to cause you to think thoroughly about your choices. Only you can decide as it is your life, health, welfare and contribution at stake.

 Make your life count for something even if the benefits abundantly accrue to others but you.